SUNDAY, MAY 31, 2009
Interesting HASH #541
Well all you no shows,
Here’s the poop on the trail: (From the eyes of the hare)
Hounds gathered at bowl and pitcher, with some having a rough time finding the parking lot. Its almost easier to say who was not there than who was,,, the pack was filled with virgins, new boots, back sliders and a no feces, a dog. This kennel had NO RA, OnSec, Hare Raiser, and maturity. Some arrived with a visual BAC that makes you question what job they could have possibly come from on a Thursday. Trail was laid with a large turkey eagle split to rally on BS near the rivers edge. A winding rivers edge trail should return the pack to circle with few problems. Chick checks, Virgin checks, false trails, Hash holds, and some shiggy will surely mix it up in the end. As the hare sat on an overlook to see the debauchery, he never thought he would see what comes next. Two virgins are first in sight, but how could this be? They must have blown right through the chick check. Silly virgins. But wait, now they blow through the hash hold. What could the replacement RA have told them? Find flour,,, go? Next is Everready but she’s not on trail. She came in from the out portion of trail. Surely a trail vet such as this has an explanation. Then a New boots shows on true trail but has to blow through the hash holds and chick checks since the pack was no longer. The pack was now individuals returning on three different paths. The hare could only drink his beer and say WTF as hounds poured in from all possible compass headings.
From here on out the hare can only relay the stories that were told:
The pack took off across the bridge and found trail without problem. Hounds wine about the Alaskan state birds attacking with no remorse. Hounds speak of running despite the lack of oxygen to try and outrun mosquitoes. It is not even possible to count the bites on Valenteeny’s ass. The hare did not make this public to everyone but hooked up a few of the veterans with some bug dope.
Apparently at the BS, our “dog” sits/lies and becomes unresponsive. I am not a veternarian, but when a dog does a mile run and can not pant,,, I would call that heat stroke. So, the stroking wiener dog is put on ice and carried out with several hounds backtracking Turkey split. This dog has a name but this event seems to call for a renaming of Stroking Wiener.
Two virgins leave the BS whilst others consumed, but then return and and go on rouge to find trail somewhere else. One boots follows true trail by the river and several other hounds return by running the eagle split backwards. WTF? I still need a bigger head (who said) to understand this. So, the best part of the trail is missed do to stoking wieners, mosquito phobia, virgin thought processes, and a lemming mob mentality. And somehow we all laugh and sing about it.
In circle we had veterans with head (who said) gear, gift giving of a foreign (yes other country) hash shirt to our GM, birthday songs, and a great view of the river. Our very own Valenteeny Ass is getting older(as are the rest of us). The debauchery only grows in circle as the mob takes on a life of its own and the RA looses control. When the dust settles it was all a good time with smiles all around.
It is written, so it is fact. This hash is ended, MAY THE HASH GO IN PEACE!
ON ON, Anal WhistlerPOSTED BY IEH3 AT 6:56 PMNO COMMENTS: LABELS: TAILS OF THE TRAIL
SUNDAY, MARCH 8, 2009
Cruisers Hash Has Past
POSTED BY IEH3 AT 5:33 PMNO COMMENTS: LABELS: TAILS OF THE TRAIL
TUESDAY, JANUARY 13, 2009
Hash #531 – Illinois Bar Tail of the Trail
It was a cold and blustery Saturday—actually it wasn’t that cold and it definitely wasn’t blustery. About a dozen harty Hashers showed up at a secret location in the northwest part of Spokane. It must have been a secret because a lot of Hashers never showed up. We left the bar at the anounced starting time of 2:45 PM. After a short ice talk, we milled around for about five minutes until trail was found across the street. After several short back checks, we headed south. There was not a back 69, but I am sure if you added up all the back checks they would total 69.
We headed down over the hill to the railroad tracks as a planned sledding hill. The sledding was great if you didn’t mind a little mud and a few big rocks. We continued on across a retaining wall (though several hounds whimped out and stayed on the Centennial Trail) to the Avista parking lot where this nice blond bimbo offered us sone beer and hot dogs.
After a short break we were back on trail… well sort of. We had a little trouble going around Mission Park – maybe it was the turkey/eagle split or maybe it was just half-a-mind hashers. Finally we arrived at the Gonzaga campus in time to mingle with the basketball fans arriving for a game. After climbing over a larger than average snow pile, we made it to the Bulldog Tavern for a quick brew. From there it was a round-a-bout way to the On-In, back at the Illinois.
The Hashers in attendance were Anal Remorse, at least 3 Evers, Boner, Valenteeny, Bev, Waffle Nuts, Party Stick (with leftover Costco Belgian chocolates from Spokane Discount), The Beast, Defloured, new boot Jen, our hare 3-Dogs and the Hot dog lady. There may have been others, but I don’t remember. Sometimes I don’t remember if I was there.
To the best of my memory, Terminator
Pink Pecker showed up after the hash during circle and we even had a spectator ask to join the circle so we awarded him with a down-down song. The double-D mug was a bit much for the guy and he unknowingly removed the vessel from his lips. When told he’d have to pour the beer “on him” he dribbled a little onto his shoes. Oh well, he wasn’t instructed properly before his song.
EverreadyPOSTED BY IEH3 AT 6:51 PMNO COMMENTS: LABELS: TAILS OF THE TRAIL
SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 22, 2008
Slab Inn Hash Video
POSTED BY IEH3 AT 1:37 PM1 COMMENT: LABELS: TAILS OF THE TRAIL
TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 4, 2008
Re-HASH HASHoWeen
A tribute to the HASHoWeen participants by Spooner Boy and Squirt. Follow the links and enjoy the fun.
EverHard and EverReady—The SuperEvers
Just Plain *uckin Bone Her—Bare Butt Cowboyso special he gets 2 –Bare Butt Cowboy Dos
Squirt-Angel Fallen or otherwise
Rectal Remorse—Elga Viking SheWoman
Virgin Jim – Hockey Ref Andy Van Hallerman
Virgin Mike – Queen of the Dead?
NB Denise Toga Party participant
The Beast Masturbator On a Date
POSTED BY IEH3 AT 5:38 PM1 COMMENT: LABELS: TAILS OF THE TRAIL
WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 8, 2008
ReHASH #524 – The Corner Club
Ah the first IEH3 HASH of the fall on a Saturday…brisk, slight wind, the musky smell of the flora and fauna returning to the earth to start the process of rejuvenation, fertilizing the soil for another…what the hell? Beaver does that after a few beers and a nice trail-get on with it already!
14 hearty hounds, two vestal HASH virgins and two nimble and funloving hares met at the Corner Club for beers, flour and fun Why is was the IEH #524 Hawaiian/Lets All Get Layed Theme HASH just for the BEAV. NOTE ONE–when raining on HASH day the need for more flour/chalk grows tenfold as sometimes the shit gets washed away.
So the pack heads (who said) our for circle. NOTE TWO–when trying to hold chalk talk in the muddy rainy parking lot, improvise and mark on wood found in the dumpster—the reason that JPFBH is RA the dude thinks on his feet for the good of the Pack.
SO, finally pack is away searching north, east, west and south for trail—those who were stupid enough (yes me) to cross Trent to find no marks and turn to see the pack going back in the Corner Club realize that check sucking should be initiated at all checks starting with the first…rumor has it that due to heavy precipitation in the area perhaps marks may disappear in as little as 20 minutes and need to be auto re-marked-See NOTE ONE above.
SO, back for additional hoppy encouragement prior to going out again to find trail. NOTE THREE—if HASH Cash is the Hare be sure to have a worthy keeper of cash in case such emergencies as re-beering occur! Thanks Pink!!!!!!!
FINALLY on trail beautiful blue and yellow double marks are found and lead the pack on a architecture and canine tour of NE SpoCanada Valley. The sly hares utilized numerous checks, back checks and HASH holds in order not to be engulfed by the now rabid pack fueled by beer and thus not realizing that it is somewhat difficult to catch a four cylinder hare when only using foam injected scrawny leg power…
The pack finally whiffed the precious bounty of beer and ‘Ritas with a little Yucca for good measure—(thanks Scratch) thrown in for a scenic BS overlooking the Spokane River in McMansion row across from Boulder Beach. Due to the weary hares and even wearier and blurry eyed hounds the BS was enjoyed with numerous imbibements of flavored goodness. The Hawaiian chips were a nice touch too. So was Uncle Pervy’s gourd which was passed around and discussed about the cost benefit ration of a straight gourd versus a curved gourd…someone mentioning curved hitting the spot? Of course all of the wankers at this point were oblivious…
The pack returned for Down Downs and there was much rejoicing and some non-condoning of the art of HASH Down Downs by the purveyor of the establishment. NOTE FOUR—A responsible owner of a pub in the state of WA can not condone the practice of drinking alcoholic beverages within the confines of said such establishment in a manner which is quick in consuming, fast in inbibing, chugging in nature, quaffing with speed or swallowing with fleetness of said alcoholic beverages as that is a promotion of…fun had by all that enter the sacred Circle for their rightful offenses. Down Downs were completed for transgressions and other such deeds and trail treasure—which brings us to the point of a newly named harriette within the IEH3 pack. NB Sam while returning to the pub found a instrument of fairly massive proportion with a purpose of cleaning the internal portion of long cylindrical objects (pipe cleaner of industrial size) and thus after much debating, NB Sam will forever be known as Anal Remorse. Thanks to the Hares Valenteenie Ass and Chilly Cheeks for a fun trail—and cumming back to re-lay the washed away marks and the hounds that completed IEH3 #524—Beaver, Chia Crack, Defloured, EverHard, EverReady, EverSpreader, Just Plain *uckin Bone Her, Party Stick, Scratch n Sniff, Three Dogs *ucking, Uncle Pervy, Anal Remorse and Virgin Jen and Virgin Chris.
Next HASH is October 18th Hare EverSpreader….still at venue to be determined 2pm.
HASHoWEEN is October 31st Hares Scratch n Sniff and Chia Crack at Fast Eddie’s 6:30ish. On On
Faithfully in submission and bondage SpoonerPOSTED BY IEH3 AT 6:20 PMNO COMMENTS: LABELS: TAILS OF THE TRAIL
IEH3 Re-HASH – #523 The Swamp
Welcome to the re-HASH of the #523 IEH HASH at the Swamp—the awesome, opened again venue on the outskirts of SpoKanada and Browne’s Addition!
A beautiful Thursday evening for hounds to follow trail wherever it may lead…
Nineteen brave souls were led out by 2 hare extraordinaires for a nice little visit to places near and far in the western portion of the downtown area—hell if we got lucky we might even overru* the Friggin Flyin Irish on this last IEH3 Thursday Trail for the year. Yep, daylight gettin slimmmer, beer bellies getting bigger, time to change to more daylight and thus more foam and trail time.
Trail was laid—very cleverly, CLEARLY, expertly and with fun for the pack in mind. Led by Rancid Nuts, Beaver, Schlongus and Lucky Balls the pack easily found marks after numerous falsies…Trail meandered aimlessly BUT down from the Swamp arriving at the base of Latah Creek for a quick jaunt across the bridge into Peoples and High Bridge Park. Scenic marks were placed for maximal potential to meet some new friends in the woods if desired—some might even have handcuffs or official titles within City Government or… Although the marks were numerous, and again many falsies laid true trail was sniffed out by experienced hounds Topless Barbie and Puss N Boots with the assistance of Buggy Butt and Deep in the Pockets. Marks directed the pack to the “Guy who stole a shitload of money from people in the Inland Empire and is now selling Real Estate in Arizona ” Bridge for a nice Turkey/Eagle split. Of course Pilfering Peter Sponge Bob No Pants takes pride in his “Fly Like an Eagle” ability bailed off along the river while Staff Infected not wanting to bust his ass on the shiggy trail takes the Turkey . As the 2 FRB’s haul balls our—Pilfering literally and to the…delight of ??????? Others in the pack follow aimlessly as all HASHers should–only to take it in the ass with a back 77 (why 77? Cuz it is ate more than 69-Huh!!!!!!) So the tried and trued professional and experienced hashers Princess Grace, Eat n Run, Foamy and Huck lead the now tired pack—poor suckers back to true trail heading—who said—up, up and up some more to Brownes Addition from the northside. By now with the pack strung out and needing beer Yeah Sure Ya Betcha along with Likesem Stiff, ProPoke and Box Wacker—being smarter hashers—head—who said to the Elk—I mean we have been on trail for 12 miles and 3 hours the beer stop has to be close!!!!! But nope the hares are not done with their torturous and diabolical trail. A diversion is found with stairs going straight up in the direction of CdA park in the heart of Browne’s. If not for the beer sniffing abilities of Scratch n Sniff, Lickem n Stickem, Just Depends, Captain Kirkoff and NB Vilma the pack might have hooked up with the Irish. The flour and marks led the parched pack to the BS just off of CdA Park . As it was dark by now after hours and hours of uplifting trees bushes and flowers Anal Whistler, Backdoor Tucker, Magically Cliticious, Pussy Peddler, Hefner, Frightened Turtle, Blows Hard, GI Jugs, Fucking Incouragable, Great Stuff-Easy Trim, Hefner, Jack Ass, Sleazbag, Sexy Bitch, Slo Pee, Smokey the Tuna, Spewer, Three Dogs *uckin, Will Work for Food and Will Work for Sex did a collective search and found the beer located hanging off the Sunset Bridge and after fighting off the folks that live in the van down by the river and in the boxes, also down by the river brought the hoppy bounty back to the house that Hot Rod built!!!!!!!!!! Numerous bottles of beer were consumed, stories of trail treasure, shiggy adventures and new acquaintances made the pack moved back to the Swamp for circle. At circle the collective pack proclaimed that they had just been on the best trail ever laid in the history of IEH3. There was much rejoicing in honor of the hares-Virgin Hare HOT ROD and wily veteran dipshit SPOONER BOY. So just a little word of advice, as heard by your humble scribe, for the rest of the pack that unfortunately did not see fit to make this trail… Chia Crack, Chilly Cheeks, Defloured, Everhard, Everready, Everspreader, Just Plain *uckin Bone Her, Kanookie, Moonbeams, Party Stick, Squirt, Terminator, The Beast Masterbator, Uncle Pervy, Valenteenie Ass, Wafflenuts, Whiskey Snatch, NB Sam and Virgin Leslie—YOU ALL MISSED A GREAT TRAIL…ON ON submitted with the usual integrity and truth as best recalled in a dazed, hazed and confused state by your humble scribe Spoonered.POSTED BY IEH3 AT 6:15 PMNO COMMENTS: LABELS: TAILS OF THE TRAIL
FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 5, 2008
Re-HASH IEH3 521
Well Hey, hey, hey…about time someone got their sh*t together and began doing their mismanagement job in which they were erected to do, butt then again erections are forthcumming so maybe someone will be a better scribe than………….me
521 Bayou Bar and Grill—Former Party Stick “waterin’ hole” place where Topless Barbie showed up and enamored Spooner Boy, but “Oh! Wait, I have a Boyfriend” yeah and where the hell is he now????????????????????????????
I digress…Re-Hash of the #521
A lovely day to HASH—cool weather, hail, rain and rainbows—did you know that if you have a double rainbow that the colors are reversed? Yep take a peek the next time!
Thirteen hardy hounds decided they had nothing better to do on a Thursday night than follow flour on a Scratch and Sniff Trail. Of course, being that it was a Thursday night and had rained, hailed and was cool, what does the pack of the IEH3 do—they check suck even before the start, downing several extra pitchers of foam prior to deciding to go find the hare. After searching for flour, trail was eventually found heading—who said—south towards the river a crafty hare who recently completed the Spokane-to-Sandpoint (yes she and other participants drank a down-down for their transgressions) took the pack on a nice leisurely run out in the fields and roads of east SpoCanada Valley, turn left, turn right, turn left…check suck here, check suck there and hope to hell there is still some beer somewhere…trail eventually was found through a recently cut field to a perfect beer stop along the river looking across to Liberty Lake—guess someone is in the Ironman training mode already! Beer was consumed although a few in the pack decided to take a more leisurely approach to following trail. As Beav, Chilly Cheeks, Terminator and Chia Crack were found playing in the hay as the front runnin bastards and biotches all were on back to the Bayou…the trail beers were shared with the lolly gaggers and they enjoyed the 3 slips of backwash from the Beast and others.
On In it was and circle was held on the patio…with the RA (JPFBH) deciding well if I can not make it to the trail at least I get to do at least one or three down downs for showing up to Circle. Down-downs were completed for the usual transgressions: backsliding, participating in extra curricular *unning activities (team Beast Van #2 did IEH3 proud by consuming 3 cases of beer in 28 hours 44 minutes on the Spokane-to-Sandpoint Relay) and although Scratch did not consume that much she gained the irk of her team by “drinking beer” prior to the relay AND had more while on the *un—On On!!
Thanks to all who came-HUH to the # 521…Beaver, Chia Crack, Chilly Cheeks, DeFlowered, the EVERS-Hard, Ready and Spreader, Hot Rod—Go Jesters!, Party Stick, Terminator and The Beast Masturbator………AND New Booty Travis, who through his excellent Pilfering Peter Sponge Bob No Pants Porno Sniffing Skills will be forever known as UNCLE PERVY! On On # 522 Special K on Sept. 4th S. Hill—Valenteenie.POSTED BY IEH3 AT 11:08 AMNO COMMENTS: LABELS: TAILS OF THE TRAIL
SUNDAY, JULY 13, 2008
The Tail of Trail – 517
The Tail of Trail – 517 in Fact
Our hares Valenteenie and Pink Pecker laid a splendid trail from Hangar 57. Yes another South Hill folly for those willing to HASH within the Inland Empire. Yep, those F-ing Irish have a strangle hold on Thursdays but give them 20 years and a desire to DRINK before YOU RUN philosophy and they might just survive. (What is it now 3 years going before it snows and they must quit – PRICELESS!! – Not much of a PUB CLUB, I say) Hashers are DRINKERS – 365 DAYS!!!!!
SO A BIG ON ON,TO THOSE THAT HASH AND KEEP THIS KENNEL GOING! Because when you travel the WORLD you can find a HASH. But where will you find a “we always run from here, and you get discounts on beer if you wear our shirt” kind of place. Yep that works only in SpokaVagas!! Doesn’t Boo Radley’s already have their true SHIRT??????
(SCRIBES NOTE: if Peter didn’t piss us off at a Climb A Mountain Relay a few years back by saying “Thanks but I hashed here and didn’t like it” I wouldn’t rip on the IRISH as Much!!! But since I have hashed here (AND DAMNIT IT, IT IS MY HOME HASH,) since 1999 and never seen the guy at a trail. I love to rip on them every chance I get. Since I don’t’ think anyone else will scribe this trail, all your FLYERS (ha ha) read it and give me a DOWN DOWN at the next trial!!!!!
Hell, in this bitch about everything community, it is nice to find a core of ½ minds that just enjoy LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!! And that is what I love about HASHING.
So in this election year, I will try and scribe trail #517.
Let’s just call this the loopy loop trail. From the Hanger lot, around the Handy-Cap re-laid mark, Beast conducted the CHALK TALK. Yes, we failed to name that artistic work of Beaver and Beast with a proper naming for the embellished wheel chair logo – Flaming Axle anyone?
From the check we found marks here and there, as usual. True trail was sniffed by Magically, as we meandered this and that and shit. Finally, the pack solved the check at 57th, which was across from the marks. Damn, those tricky hares. On Down we went for after many ups, downs, lefts, rights, a short right, and down again. Yes it was a fun filled cluster FUCK and not a designed route that those F-ing Irish would enjoy. Sorry I digress again.
Trail left a timely Virgin Check with Travis going South – yes, downhill is best and April chugging to the East for TRUE TRAIL. Hope they will both come back again, along with Mitsy.
April guided the way to the BS where PBR, Mike’s Shooters, and Grub was enjoyed. Oh yeah, a scathing of Pink’s place to find Trail Treasure before we hit On In.
So in this Short Scribe I want to thank the following ½ minds for Thursday’s Trail: (As always, scream at me at a trail if I scribe your name wrong – it happens after a few
Hares: Pink Pecker and Valenteenie
Virgins: Travis, April, & Misty.
OH A LONG LOST RETURNER –FUCKING INCOURAGAGLE. YEAH CAN YOU BELIVE IT!!
Rest of the pack (not named above ) included: De-Floured (thus to late for Irish tonight, ha), Eveready, Everhard, EverSpreader, Terminator, Beast, Beaver, a returning Fucking Icouragable, Hot Rod (I think that is right? – Crap scream at me and set me strait.)
So Scribed by
Rancid Nuts – a happy ½ mind.
(Buy me a Beer before you Bitch)
Important Announcements:
Thursday, July 3rd
6:45 – Mismanagement Meeting
CAMP OUT PLANNING
Park Inn
103 W. 9th Ave.
Spokane, WA
Hey, you want an enjoying Camp Out then buck your ass up with some input. Crap everyone wants a camp out but NO COMMITMENT, and I JUST DON’T KNOW.
Well shit shell out some coin so mismanagement can plan with only 30 DAYS TO GO. Crap if you don’t attend then you get free beer for some time, ha. But just buck up so we can plan and quit bitchen about why we don’t have campouts. Look in the mirror that is the reason. Down a Beer and commit.
#518 – July 10, 2008
6:00 PM Social – Trail Start 6:30 PM
Illinois Avenue & Grill
1403 E Illinois Ave
Hares: Rancid Nuts & Terminator
Oh you Bastards are in for a THRILL. Shiggy BABY!!!!!!!!!POSTED BY IEH3 AT 2:23 PMNO COMMENTS: LABELS: TAILS OF THE TRAIL